She’s The Prize

Artist 8 x 10 in Quality Print

Last summer I challenged myself to create smaller works. No more than 4 hours of uninterrupted time. As a single working mother, even that much time is hard to come by. So leaning into my village was the only way. Spending an evening with my mom or my friends made space for me to create. I had to sit with what I actually wanted the work to be. I didn’t want to pressure myself to create for the external gaze. In full transparency, I wanted to break free from copying other artists’ styles, painting from other photographers’ work, or simply painting famous faces. I wanted to dig deeper. I was going through a self-healing journey. And what do artists do when they’re dealing with complex feelings on the inside? We either shut down or we create. I spent years shutting down and isolating, and I wasn’t going to do that to myself anymore. So I began to create. I looked at moments in my own life that I could romanticize — to find the joy in living again. I was going through a rough transition: stretched thin in a job I hated, growing professionally in ways that tested my morals, losing friendships, navigating a breakup in early spring, protecting my daughter, and finding myself again. It was and still is heavy. So I went back to moments where I saw life through a different lens. Moments where I felt beautiful, invincible, like I was truly living. Full of whimsy. Doing new things just for the plot. Those moments brought me back to life. When I painted “She’s the Prize”, I thought back to when I showcased my artwork at a Bridgerton-themed party. I dressed for the era with delicate lace gloves and all and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I loved who was looking back at me. I felt whimsical, cute, and free. The same way I felt going out with my girls to a 70s/80s themed night back in 2024. There’s something the kids have been onto with dressing up just to play, it’s silly, corny, and feels so free. That moment reminded me: I should always treat myself this way. Delicate like lace. Prized like the magnificent artist that I am. Beautiful inside and out. And the biggest lesson? Not everyone should get to experience that version of me. It has to be earned.